Tomorrow my youngest cousin is getting married. I am sitting in France and enjoying all the ceremonies/fun/music/mehandi/etc. on phone. I am so much far away from the functions. It is ok, though I feel nostalgic. My cousin is not that young, should say about the right age to be married, but for me she is the baby of the family. I am concerned and thoughtful about her new life and pray all the love and luck for her. She is getting married in another city. To me it is so strange and difficult to accept that we pack her bags, and marry her and come back to our city, leaving her in an entirely new city amongst new people. But, well, that is how it goes, atleast in India.
I was thinking about this sometime back as my mind was occupied with thoughts of cousin getting married in a new city. Outside India too, I have not seen boys leaving their house and going to the girl's place to live after they commit or marry. It is the other way round or they live in a new house which they mutually own. Living outside for some 6 years now, I have understood that I love a place which is between India and Holland (where I have been till last year, for 6 years). I like the value system, the close knit concept of families and the dress-up of India whereas I like the individualism, the non-interference, the no-nonsense life style and the freedom of Holland. I want to balance these aspects and find a place. Well, quite tough! Coming back to marriages, I find it strange that the girls leave their parent's house to settle in an entirely different household with different thought system, action stream, routine, cuture and discipline. How easily the girls at least want to mould themselves. They know it is difficult for them, but they have the will (I must say, most of the girls have this will). I have also done the same but it still gives me old memories where I missed my parents, my own home, my room, each n everything of my house so much, in the initial days but I held on. I was sad missing my family but I never admitted that just to show some courage to them.
I was thinking about this sometime back as my mind was occupied with thoughts of cousin getting married in a new city. Outside India too, I have not seen boys leaving their house and going to the girl's place to live after they commit or marry. It is the other way round or they live in a new house which they mutually own. Living outside for some 6 years now, I have understood that I love a place which is between India and Holland (where I have been till last year, for 6 years). I like the value system, the close knit concept of families and the dress-up of India whereas I like the individualism, the non-interference, the no-nonsense life style and the freedom of Holland. I want to balance these aspects and find a place. Well, quite tough! Coming back to marriages, I find it strange that the girls leave their parent's house to settle in an entirely different household with different thought system, action stream, routine, cuture and discipline. How easily the girls at least want to mould themselves. They know it is difficult for them, but they have the will (I must say, most of the girls have this will). I have also done the same but it still gives me old memories where I missed my parents, my own home, my room, each n everything of my house so much, in the initial days but I held on. I was sad missing my family but I never admitted that just to show some courage to them.
To non-Indians, this culture seems fascinating and interesting. To me, it seems so (I am not getting the right word) sometimes wierd, sometimes so part and parcel of our lives, sometimes so strange! But this is what has happened from centuries. It is best to accept it rather than question it. I think I am not questioning anything, but just trying to express my feelings on this particular subject. For the moment, I only wish happiness and good luck to my cousin. I hope in some years, I will feel she has grown up and will stop being a baby for me.
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