HIM!

the silence you live into

the love you once fell for

the anger that seeps within you

the anguish your body feels 

the helplessness you see for yourself

the hope of yours that goes dim

the smile that's become a bargain

the tears that come like a high tide...

 ...Break it all,

life is too short for all this!

Get up,

Smile from within,

One day each day is 'yesterday'

& every day will be 'tomorrow'.

Do not sulk,

Have faith,

say a prayer,

light a lamp,

bow your head,

& love HIM again n forever...

 ...and you will be free, my heart n mind.

This poem is inspired by my recently strengthened faith in HIM, the Almighty. Life is too short and far more important than tears and thoughts spent on the very basic nature of life n people. I am happy in this festive season of Diwali, I have seen my light. Now, my head is stronger with the faith in HIM and my heart is filled with joy that he hears my prayers if they are good :-)

I wish all my readers & my friends a very happy Diwali and I hope that your life too will always be guided by HIM.

I miss you!

I miss you...so much. 

Life is going on a roller coaster pace nowadays. Moving from France to United States, is one hectic task. Most of it is done, but the chores and tasks that remain......they too eat up the energy and peace. I miss you so much, my words. There are hundreds of feelings that grow inside every day but I am not just able to gather enough enthusiasm to weave them into something meaningful. 

Also, I am constrained from quite so many days. I am being more thoughtful and doubtful too, before publishing everything that I feel. My words were never like this..I guess its just a phase and soon, I will have the free flow that was the very nature of my writings.

Till then, I think I am on a small break (though I want to break these constraints as soon as possible). But, may be my restlessness will create something that needs to be here, soon, very soon...who knows! For now, I just have this-

In the rhyme of your name

I found my poem!

कभी-कभी

 

 

दिन डूबते ही दिल भी डूबने लगता है,

दीप जलते ही किसी की यादों की रोशनी सताने लगती है.......

Shri Jagjit Singhji's ghazal- "दिन डूबा तुम याद आये" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rcZ4of1IuA) inspired this poem of mine. I have always been in strong admiration of his ghazals. The pain and love as depicted in his voice is unparallely deep, the one that I have not been able to find & feel in any other ghazal singer's voice. I am sure a lot of fans of JS would agree with me. I don't have the exact number of years with me that I can use and say, yes I have been listening to his ghazals from these many years...it feels like forever from the time I had senses enough to understand, his ghazals were an integral part of my life.

There was a time when we (me & my brother) waited for his new albums. Those were the days of the cassettes...we used to buy JS's albums on our birthdays. I bought a cassette for him on his birthday (just because I wanted to own it), and he used to do the same! JS is no more, he passed away on 10th October, this year, and a lot of people are sad with his demise. For me, this feeling is yet to sink in. I won't ever be able to listen to him 'live' again...is something I feel very bad about. I heard him 'live' on 17th July 1999 when he came to Indore, my home town. I so much wished to listen to him once more, alas! He will always be cherished in hearts of his fans, and his ghazals will always be heard eternally! May he rest in peace forever.

My poem inspired by his this ghazal-

कभी-कभी 

हर आहट पर लगता था

तुम आये हो.

कभी-कभी

हर खुशबू मे लगता था  

तुम महके हो.

कभी-कभी

हर झोंके मे लगता था

तुमने छुआ है मुझे.

कभी-कभी 

हर राग मे लगता था

तुमने कुछ कहा है.

कभी-कभी

हर धड़कन मे लगता था

तुमने ही सांस ली है.

कभी-कभी......

Broken wings....

The days continue for me, when I have no clue what's inside my heart and what's coming on paper. The day started quite early today as I had a trip to the airport in the wee hours of morning. When I returned I was awake with my sweet ginger tea, a poetry book, some songs and a bit of Facebook. I tried to listen to some new singers (new for me), and eventually from Eagles, Beetles, Celion Dion, Kailash Kher, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and KK, I finally settled with my ultimate favorite- Jesse McCartney's 'Just So You Know'  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pts-t0mGEYE&feature=related). This is where the seeds of this poem emerges from. I don't think there is any connection, but it's just that the music & emotions in this song that gave me the feel for this particular poem. I want to try a different writing style, few words sketching a picture! Its new for me because I write clear meanings with relatively long poems. But recently, hidden words giving clear picture is what I have on my mind. A small trial, this one-

Stick by stick,

high up in the sky

perhaps just beneath the clouds

she made her nest.

Beautiful mornings took birth

enchanting evenings 

she lived merrily with

when Love reigned.

Today, a storm appeared

it blew everything off

she was found lying wing-less

just when Love left.

The incomplete!

Thoughts in the mind

raging

agitated!

Feelings in the heart

confused

baffled!

Constrained,

chained,

my words sat.

They finally drifted away

leaving the pen

lonely

& me pained.

Well, surely the words above didn't construct a happy poem. But today it's the truth. In the last one hour, with the heart & mind racing against each other, I wanted to feel unburdened. Therefore, wanted to seek shelter in my poems. I tried to pen different poems on different subjects, everytime thinking may be this would be my vent out. But all words were left incomplete (hence an incomplete me)...leaving me a handful of poems with different emotions. In one of the poems, I tried to understand what is the Almighty to me...a friend or the super-power (may be I wanted to seek his blessings & love today!)....but could not complete it. In an another one, I tried to portray that everything fades away....but my heart could not let go everything, hence another incomplete one!

Its being so difficult today....I think I know why or may be, I don't know why. When one stops oneself, chains & constraints oneself...how come the 'completeness' be born! 

In French- "C'est bizarre", but that's what is me today. May be the Sun shining tomorrow will break the shackles of the darkness within and a beautiful new day would be on its way, just like the fragrance of festivities in the air.

Happy Dusshera to all.

(* The image is 'The Creation of Adam', by Michelangelo.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Creation_of_Adam)

Sadness!

 

 Transient,

fleeting

is this world

& I hope memories too.