Day 30: 'nadi mile sagar mein'

Today our four days stay in the Vesubie Valley amongst the giant rocky mountains,tuning cascades, snow covered peaks and the curvy paths came to an end. While returning from the valley to Nice, the road was accompanied parallely by river Var. It was spread in a very broad area. I was looking out the window of the car and intently watching the running river. Actually, yes the river seemed to run. Like its water was rushing to some destination. I realized the destination is the Mediterranean sea, and on the coast is situated the beautiful and grand city of Nice.

In my mind, my thoughts hummed a tune 'oh re taal mile nadi ke jal me'. I was amazed to see the rushing water, I could feel each wave, old or new from the last point, was running and only running desperately to the sea. I felt each water drop in the river was anxious and excited to merge in the sea and lose its entity. How philosophical, by losing its entity as the river, the river gains the status as the sea.

I could see that in life we all need to rush towards our destination with the enthusiasm, excitement and anxiousness like that of a river to reach our final goal, the sea of our personal dreams and ambitions. In the process, we need to jump and leave behind over pebbles, stones etc. without giving up.

The flowing and running river filled me with a profound thought to rush to my goals with zeal and hardwork and never give up in the middle. This post of mine will be incomplete without this song, one of my favourites:

ओह रे ताल मिले नदी के जल में
नदी मिले सागर में
सागर मिले कौनसे जल में
कोई जाने न...

सूरज को धरती तरसे
धरती को चन्द्रमा
पानी में सीप जैसे प्यासी हर आत्मा
बूँद छिपी किस बादल में
कोई जाने न
ओह रे ताल...

अनजाने होठों पर क्यों पहचाने गीत हैं
कल तक जो बेगाने थे जन्मों के मीत हैं
क्या होगा कौनसे पल में
कोई जाने न
ओह रे ताल...

-Film: Anokhi raat
Singer: Mukesh

Day 28: My first step on the snow mountains

The route to Berthemont les Bains to Madone de Fenestre, Mercantour National Park was as spectcular as the national park itself (which I realized later). We were staying in a gîte near Berthemont Les Bains. A gite is a self-catering accommodations/French holiday home located in the countryside, by the sea or in the mountains. They are completely self contained with one or more bedrooms, a lounge, a kitchen and bathroom facilities. Our gite was in a valley and its pictures can be seen here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=171626&id=164932022367#!/album.php?aid=171626&id=164932022367. I loved the sight and presence of mountains around me. The first thing I did in the morning after waking up was to see outside the window, just to feel how mountains look in the morning. From the gite, I could see some snow on a few mountains, actually the top was covered with some snow and oh....I wanted to go there and touch the snow.

My wish was actually granted....Shishir read the map and decided we go to the Madone de Fenestre, Mercantour National Park. He drove us to 1903 mts to the Fenestre. It was all mountains, with much more snow that was seen from our gite. The snow was melting and it made such huge waterfalls. I touched such snow for the first time in my life and I was so thrilled. I climbed the mountains for say a little more than half an hour. I was wearing my normal Reebok shoes and not the specially designed trekking shoes so Shishir and other people had already advised to be careful as they are not suitable for snow walking/climbing etc. I just thought to go a little further on the mountain. At the base at 1903 mts, there is a refuge which looks like (picture from internet, as we have not downloaded our photos yet):

It was ofcourse many mountains standing side by side, and trek routes were marked by signs and numbers like as shown in the image below. I didn't have enough time and proper shoes & accessories (neither the required stamina and skills like skiing etc.) to follow any of these routes. So I just decided to walk till a point where I can see ample snow on the mountain. I decided to go on a mountain which showed the most snow on its path as well as on its peak.

As I was climbling high, I saw streams of water as a result of melting snow. They all were gradually leading their way to one or the bigger waterfalls. I actually touched the sheets of snow, solid and white. I also saw a group of deers, chamois in French, lying lazilly on the snow or eating grass. I also saw sone mongoose (nevla) running in the snow. They all were quite far but I was happy to see them at least.

As I went up and up, the sight of the cars parked near the refuge became very faint and at one angle disappeared. I was all surrounded with lofty mountains, with snow, rock, trees and streams of melting snow. I every now and then saw some people with abundant accessories (skii rackets/trekking shows/big backpacks stuffed with relevant things/windsheaters) coming down or going up. I also talked to a French guy and asked how far the peak from that point where we were having the talk and he told me it will take 4 hours to reach there and he pointed at my shoes and said it is dangerous as the snow is like an ice cream up there and the mountain is getting steeper. Well, I just headed a little more up and took a view down/left/right/up. Gosh.....it was so majestic. I felt the mountains calling to me. At the same time, I felt I was getting crazy and obssessed with climbing and the mountains itself. It was so beautiful but I could not go further but I promised myself to improve my stamina and one day come back to this place to go to the top and touch the snow there.

Day 27: Trip to the mountains

Our bags are packed with a lot more stuff than usual. We are going to spend a good 4 days at the mountains in Vesubie valley in France. It is around 50-60 kms from Nice. We have booked our accomodation in a small fully furnished house/gite so had loads to stuff to eat/prepare in our bags.

I am looking so much to breathe the fresh mountain air, sink in me the loftiness and the rockiness of the mountains covered with plants and snow, relax with a book on the terrace of the accommodation, and do nothing. Will be posting my experience and details on the following days.

Gulzar's 'Sparsh'

कुरान हाथों में लेके नाबीना एक नमाज़ी
लबों पे रखता था
दोनों आँखों से चूमता था
झुकाके पेशानी यूँ अक़ीदत से छू रहा था
जो आयतें पढ़ नहीं सका
उन के लम्स महसूस कर रहा हो

मैं हैराँ-हैराँ गुज़र गया था
मैं हैराँ हैराँ ठहर गया हूँ

तुम्हारे हाथों को चूम कर
छू के अपनी आँखों से आज मैं ने
जो आयतें पढ़ नहीं सका
उन के लम्स महसूस कर लिये हैं
- Gulzar

Day 26: I feel blessed when I hold you....

"उभर रहा जो सूरज तो धूप निकलेगी,
उजालों में रहो मत धुंध का हिसाब रखो"

I happened to visit some blog today and found these lines in a poem. Just loved it. This is like the Sun radiating positive energy to me. I really felt the rays entering my mind, my skin, my eyes and my feelings. Wow...just loved them.

Today I wanted to write about one of my favourite Indian poets, Kamla Das and how I happened to write about her. We had her poem 'middle age' in sixth or seventh standard in school and from there I have loved her. Though now, I can better understand and admire her words and feelings. When I started searching for her work last year (through and on internet), I found she is no more, I felt bad and sad. I think there are a few poets in India who write so well (well, I don't know many but have read a lot of poems by different Indian poets but for me Kamla Das in one of the gems Indian literature world had).

Well, I don't have this poem in the post, I searched it on internet but could not find it. I will return to this post and include the poem when I would have found it. The poem is about middle age mother who is still in love with her adolescent son just like he is her baby but the son is growing and too busy in his world to notice her mother's affection. The mother is more like a person who is ready with the foods and clothes. The poem is so beautifully written that the feelings come before your eyes like a reality depicted in front of your eyes.

I happened to think of this poem a few days back when I was holding my daughter who is just a little more than 2 years now. I felt so blessed while holding her. Yes, there are a few moments in the day, when I hold her I feel extra special and extra loved. May be it is mutual affection and love that we share at that particular moment. I feel so proud to be a mother at such moments and feel that my angel is responding from her heart. But at the same time, a thought makes me sad. It will be a few months/years and then I would not be able to hold her. She will grow into a young girl, say 5 years or 6 years who would not need to come in her mother's lap every once in a while. This is natural, but then I am very much going to miss my extra special feelings which I feel each day. Kids grow, we grow and life grows. Things change for everybody and we all move on with to a new plateau with our goals, wishes, affections and relationships. But never moves on some memories that are stored and locked in our hearts. And the emotion that I feel while holding Avni will always be one of them in my life.

Lots of love to you, my angel. God bless you with all the fine things of life.
touchwood!

Day 25: Observation

I had an observation about me today (well, I had this earlier too a few times). if I know what can occur in the next few minutes, may be within a short period of time say half an hour, I roll that movie in front of my eyes and accordingly change my behavior. Actually, if I feel I will be going to say something in anger or irritation, I try to analyze if I am doing it right or at least I am in the right position to do it and if I feel no, this what I will be doing is wrong, I immediately calm myself and decide my course of behavior. I decide my body language, my words and of course my action. And I am right...I am saved and spared from being unreasonably harsh and irritating.

I have experienced this, now for a few times, and it has given me a lot of peace of mind as I behave good after this analysis. I was wondering if we knew what is coming next, we can be so well prepared and behave rationally. Or at least why not think and analyze for a few minutes before behaving harshly. I am also not doing it but thinking to give it a try. I am sure to be more peaceful in the coming days.

Day 24: A fun day with Avni

Today we had a fun day, me & Avni. After having breakfast, we went to her room and I gave her a balloon. As we are trying to teach her colors, I asked her color of the balloon. Right now, every color is somehow pink.(Fully girlish!) Suddenly, I had an idea. I gave her many balloons and told her that we have a party in her room today. To my surprise, she started keeping her toys in their boxes in order to make the room clean for the party. We tied the balloons on a thread, hung it on the wall. Then we cleaned the room, kept her small car & roads carpet in the center of the room, her toys around it. We also pasted some glow stars on the various places on the walls, I also made her do this by her tiny hands. She enjoyed every bit of it. I also took some pictures afterwards of the room, and she readily posed in one of them for me with her photograph smile (ya, actually she tries to smile for the photograph, I must admit she has her natural smile more beautiful than this one).

In the evening, I dressed her in the dress she wore on her first birthday, an all frills pink frock. She was very happy also because of the dress and because Shishir got her a gift for her party, a gems packet. We all dined in her room, and only after that the party was over.

I did all this so that Avni gets to see and feel new things-the frills, the pumping of the balloons, a simple thread, the joy of celebrating, learning to clean for a purpose & also keeping the room clean for a longer period of time :-) . Simple things in life give so much pleasure. I was full of joy for her. She danced, sang and had lots of fun in the evening, played music and laughed (touchwood!). I am very relaxed today (so not thinking about things to be done the next day or the improvements pending in life) after spending such a simple yet relaxing, fun, creative and happy day with my angel.