Day 82: Spiritual reality

I have yet to start my spiritual journey. Before I begin, I need to understand what it is. What is spiritualism? What are its goal for mankind? What goals it has for me?

I am so curious about all these words are so common, seems like people are running after them to get peace of mind and happiness in their lives. Are these words really magical? Is the process behind them so fruitful? My mind is so intrigued by words like vipsyana, reiki, Art of Living, RajYoga. Some 10 years ago I did basic course of Reiki and Art of Living. I think then I was too young to understand them. I must say life was full of enthusiasm, ambitions and passions for ambitions. Therefore, these words were not what I was looking for. May be when I go through the meaning of these words today, they will be more important and understandable to me. Life is still full of ambitions but the weight of responsibilites (to oneself and to others) put a person's vigour down. I want to read extensively about these processes and also do them practically. I think I will come back with more posts about them after reading about them.

Today I saw a DVD about Spiritual reality(given to me by my mom. This is the 3rd copy she has given me in these years as somehow I always kept losing them).  The DVD is the best I have seen till now on this topic. I liked the serenity and peacefulness in it. It is all animated and not some man/woman guru kind of person performing and delivering their lectures. Well, I am not against them. I often listen to many of them. But somehow, I liked and got hooked to the DVD because of its serenity. The DVD talks about cosmic energy, how we need more and more of it to solve our problems and how it helps us attain peace and happiness in out day to day grindings. It talks about meditation, thr right way to do it, the third eye, the listening to the usually unheard and unobvious sounds etc. It is all so temoting for me to dive deep into this process and see for myself if I can see the constant light before my eyes and my mind is all peace (devoid of any thoughts?). I understand it does not come with one session of meditation, but may need numerous (which I can not quantify now), I am curious and want to start with it as soon as possible. Tomorrow is my first day to start the meditation. I am definitely going to write about it tomorrow.

I want to understand these various processes which I mentyioned above and see why people are running after them. Sometimes I wonder do people who claim to have attained peace and seen the 'light' have really experienced it? Is there something actually called as spiritual reality exists? I want to know and experience it so much. If you have experienced it and know anything about it, don't hesitate to share through comments.

Day 78: Dancing...

क्या तुमसे खूबसूरत है कोई?

क्या है कोई जो भरता इतनी शक्ति मेरी नस नस मे?

क्या है कोई जो इतना रिझाता मुझे?

क्या तुमसे कोमल और तुमसा 'नटराज' है कोई?

क्या तुमसे बड़ा सपना है इन आँखों मे भरा कोई ?

 ***

This post if for my all-time favourite passion 'dancing'. I dream to be a good dancer one day, well not for others but for my own happiness & satisfaction.  

Day 77: 'शिशिर ऋतू'

आंसूँ मोती लगते है
तेरी याद मे जब झलकते है.

यादें खूबसूरत हो जाती है
समेटे तुझे जब चली आती है.

मिटटी महक उठती है
बारिश मे  जब तेरी सीरत होती है. 

दुःख सुख आसान लगते है
जब हाथ तेरा होता है मेरे हाथो मे.

सब खोना जिंदगी मे बेमानी है अब
पाया हो जब तुझे अपने आप मे.

Day 76: A break....what?...........Noooooo!

Are there any breaks from routine life? I am not talking about vacations/holidays. They are once in a while, they fill our eyes with nature's beauty, our words with appreciation of this beauty, they give us energy to deal with the hullabaloo of the life....but all this is indeed short-lived because the daily life is longer than the duration of holidays. 

Today morning I woke up with a lot of tiredness. Last two nights were filled with sleepless state, with scattered dreams, scattered thoughts and scattered sleep. I was also tired running (still I don't feel I run enough!) after the kiddie and just dealing with her with patience and peace. I need a break....my mind and my heart and my body said. But soon realized, is it possible? No. Though I live outside India (which for many people mean lots of freedom and state of responsibility-less life), I am not free. Sometimes I feel I should get ill today and receive a lot of pampering...but no, it is absolutely not possible for a mother outside India. Who is going to pamper (the hubby has to go to office, the kid has to be taken care of, no servants, no playschool, no friends as such)? 

Then I realized what would be the situation in India, back home? How often our mothers got break? Does my sis-in-laws have break (because they are still responsible for the elders in the house)? Actually, it is easier here in those terms than back home. But still, back home you have care, you have more encouraging sources etc. At least this is my perception.

I am realizing as we grow up and become at least the receiver of many responsibilites-office, home as wife/husband, daughter-in-law etc. the possibities to get breaks so easily diminshes. It no longer remains in our whims n fancies to get an off from our offices/household chores. Life has to be responsible....well, I think I must accept it permanently that the scenario is not going to change for many years so whenever I need pampering on such days, or when I feel low for doing the regular mundane things of life, all these days I must finish all the relevant and necessary chores with extra vigour and let this finished task give me energy to enjoy the day and feel good about life....

Day 75: A colorful world

Its a colorful word

simple yet so charming

the world of kids

mundane to us but treasure to the little ones.

My heart gallops when 

my baby plays with water in little glasses

in her baby kitchen set.

My heart draws images of happiness when

my baby plays with crayons

and scribbles something she calls flowers.

My heart sticks to joys unbound when

my baby plays with stickers

and she is so possessive about them.

Toys, stickers, candies

choclates, water tub, bath ducks,

cartoons, books

all these are your world baby,

I am so mesmerized to see you

content with a world of your own...

such a colorful & happy world....

Day 74: एक ख्वाब

I happened to read about Sachin Tendulkar's family today and reached to this video :
http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=oewFErGwETs&feature=related

I found his girl, Sara so innocent. I thought the media is trying to make her a star by asking her plans and their regular stiupid questions but they failed to realize they are talking to a 12 year old girl (though she is Sachin's daughter). She was such in a fix that she kept repeating what she should answer to the reporters. I was amazed to see her beauty-both internal as well as external. I also saw pictures of Sachin's wife and found her beautiful-both inwards and outwards. I think Sara inherited her beauty from her mother. And it is now that I dreamt something for my daughter. My dream for my kiddie is summarised in one word- Grace.

I also realize everyday that she will be what her parents will make her. It is very true because a child's first school is his home and his parents are his first teachers. We have big responsibility towards her. If I want her to be graceful, don't I have to imbibe this in me? I wish her lots of happiness and success in her life, and above all, I wish that she may have grace in her being, in her every role in each of her life's phase. A poem penned only for her.

Amen....

एक ख्वाब देखा है तुम्हारे लिए
बड़ा नहीं लेकिन महतव्पूर्ण है.

भरा है यह सपना आँखों मै-
निश्चलता हो तुम्हारी आँखों मे,
सरलता हो तुम्हारे हृदय मे,
सादगी हो तुम्हरी सोच मे.

जरूरी नहीं सागर की तरह वेग हो
मगर हो उसकी गहराई,
जरूरी नहीं हो तुममे संगीत का शोर
मगर हो उसका मंत्रमुग्ध कर देने वाला सुर,
जरूरी नहीं आज*का बिंदासपन हो तुममे
मगर जरूर हो आज का विश्वास, आज का हौसला,

बाहरी चमक दमक से परे,
मन की चांदनी से सजा
हो तुम्हारा जीवन.
व्यक्तिव्य मे हो तुम्हारे बहुत सादगी

और मन मे हो तुम्हारे बहुत आदर.

बहुत आगे जाओ, पढो लिखो
कलाकार बनो
और लिखो अपने जीवन का गान स्वयं.

Lots of love, mamma.

Day 71: Leisure...

Today, I write about one of my favourite poems. I think life is moving very fast (yet long way to achieve goals). In todays times I always remember this poem (collected below) and find it so true. The poem is wonderfully and aptly titled 'Leisure'. I am sure many readers would be able to relate with this poem and its title. Little things in life endow you with big joys. Sometimes just watching a bird making its nest is such a big experience. It fills you with so much vigour and enthusiasm that it is unbelievable that such a small thing (for humans) can give us big pleasures. Sometimes, I  just feel that in todays time of time running out of watches, people running behind goals and their deadlines, skipping breakfasts and lunches, spending hours before television in the name of relaxation.....people have forgotten about simple leisures of life. The poem here, by Henry Davies talks about these small and yet very beautiful leisures of life

Leisure....

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

(Wm. Henry Davies (1871-1940) is to be considered as the poet of the tramps. Born at Newport, Wales in the UK, Davies came to America from Great Britain and lived the life of a vagabond. One day, as the result of jumping a train, he lost one of legs. Davies returned to England where he continued to live the life of a tramp and a pedlar. He wrote poetry (presumably he did right along) and, eventually, he determined to print his own book and did so with the little money he earned panhandling. A copy of this first work, A Soul's Destroyer, came into the hands of George Bernard Shaw; which, in turn, led to the popularization of the poet. 

.....So, people read this poem and get inspired to take a tini-mini break and enjoy the good things and fine pleasures of life.....Good luck...

Day 70: Writers block...

The writer's block is so much dawning on me nowadays!

I have always been a person who writes by heart and spontaneously. It is becoming difficult to think and write as opposed to feel and write.

In college times I have written poems at every spot and every time, be it lectures, canteen, library. the flow of words (& emotions behind them) had been so strong that the pen could not stop. But I am realising that as and when one gets practical and less emotional, the words seems to stop and the heart resists any writings like times before. Having a bit more control over emotions and thoughts makes one, at least me, less creative. Let's see how I fare here in the coming days.....

Day 69: A battle to be fought alone!

Life is a battle to be fought alone. The results entirely depend on oneself. Of course, friends and family are always there to support morally but they can never take your place to fight your situations, to win your battles and be yourself.

How true,

कोई कृष्ण सारथी बन आनेवाला नहीं यहाँ
खुद ही बुलंद करना है अपने रथ को यहाँ....

I wrote these lines during school time but this entire poem is very close to my heart. One day, I will put it on my blog. For now, a big good luck to all those who are fighting alone and still not giving up.

Day 68: To all my teachers!

Oh! my cooking interest is coming back, it seems. For me cooking is a phase. It goes through a slope (both downwards and upwards) and also hits a plateau. I think now it is taking a ascent! Yesterday was the day of almond-chocalte cake and today I made Masala Dosa-sambhar. Missed my favourite cocomut chutney as I didn't have the fresh coconut to make it. It was followed with me making 'strawberry jelly' with my two years & four months old kiddie. She loves doing things related to the freezer :-)

We relished good enough dosas (not perfect like the South Indians make) and hot piping spicy sambhar with the movie 'Taare Zameen Par'. I like the music and the lyrics of almost every song of the movie. While watching I realized how important is the role of teachers in the life of a student. Especially for young minds and young bodies, school is such an important place. Therefore, there should be quality in every corner of this place. A big building, fancy uniforms and modern liberal rules are not that the priority than the quality of its teachers. In the movie, the young boy Darsheel Safari plays the role of 'Ishaan'. He is suffering from dyslexia. The National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke gives the following definition for deyslexia (source- Wikipedia):

"Dyslexia is a brain-based type of learning disability that specifically impairs a person's ability to read. These individuals typically read at levels significantly lower than expected despite having normal intelligence."

The character Ishaan in the movie is very good painter but his parents, teachers and all others fail to notice this. They overlook his dreams and his joy as a young kid of 8-9 years. All that they see is his school notebook with red ink all over and a zero in his results. He is sent to the boarding school and there after some time, he meets his drawing teacher (role played by Aamir Khan) who understands him and discovers that the boy is suffering from dyslexia. He helps him out with his patience, encouraging words, time, friendliness and his interest in his dreams. He is such a good teacher. The movie also showcases various other teachers who only understand that brilliance is reflected in the marks on a report card. They use violence and scoldings to make the students better. So wrong! and so emotional when something like this was shown in the movie.

Through out my academic career (school/college etc) I have been a brilliant student and mostly a first ranker. Today, faces of many of my school classmates float before my eyes and I remember how conveniently they were tagged as 'dull' students. We, the rankers of class, atleast I didn't see them as sort of downtrodden' but

I also followed their tag and in my mind they had the image of dull and weak students. I never tried to think the reason 'why they were weak or dull'. For some it might be real brain-based problems, but for others it might be family circumstances, peer pressure, disinterest in subject, difficult to remove the tag of a 'weak student'. Today, I think I am a bit more broad minded and deep in thinking, I look for reasons behind somebody's behaviour and personality. I try to think before I judge somebody.

Through this post, I would like to thank all of my teachers who supported me, encouraged me to retain my 'brightness' as a student, who appreciated my poetry then in grade seventh itself and confided in me to move forward. They were my great pillars and what I am today I owe them too for besides my family.  The role of teachers is so important in shaping a young mind that it can make or mar the students personality. Their merit undoubtedly lies in the expertise in their subject but I think their real teachings lies in their patience and understanding of a young mind. I am lucky to have so good teachers and I will always be grateful to them.