The Body, the Excess Baggage and 2016!

Yay! This New Year post was written for Blogadda's #TalesOf2015! activity and scored a place in the top 20 entries. Here is the list. 

Time is the only eternal change in universe. It never stops changing. The moment which we call present will become past in blink of an eye. Months, weeks and days become memories with each breath we take. Yes, like every other year, 2015 has also bid adieu and we welcomed 2016 with hopes and aspirations anew. Changing years mark not only change in calendar but provide us with a new beginning. Sometimes, I wonder if these are meant to give us fresh perspective in the monotony of life and everyday struggles.

I love new years because this is my shot at change. It’s a standard day to look back, a day to smile and learn. The biggest smile that 2015 brought to me was when I became a mom (again). Believe me, it’s so much harder to be mothering more than one. I am growing everyday as a person. Every day I am learning to be a mother, all over again. To understand and tend to the needs of two children, one being a baby who can’t speak and the other one, all expressive and letting you know she requires attention like before! Oh! It’s like walking on a tightrope and you can’t fall. But the runs between Ballet classes to diaper changes, the clock ticking with feeding times to early morning school preparations, this adrenalin rush brings a bliss of its own kind and will give birth to a lifetime of memories. Amen!

With this expected joy came lot of unexpected events. All related to my physical being! I never imagined this would affect my family in ways I never knew. This included my own expectations from myself, as a new mother. It was no less than an encounter with the End and yes, the saying, ‘health is wealth’, for the very first time in my left made sense. It’s so important to be healthy. Lying helplessly on the hospital bed, I was only thinking of myself, my body. It is all what matters in the end- the physical presence. Till Oxygen reaches your lung and you exhale Carbon-Dioxide, you are very much alive and yes, we are responsible to keep doing this beautifully for as long as possible. In those unhealthy moments, days and weeks, I took a solemn pledge to earn as much as wealth of health as possible, each day of my life now onwards. So, 2016 is all about the physical body because everything else just follows.

Like every year, I am not going to make a book full of resolutions. I think a lot of us do that and then after a few enthusiastic days, we shrink back in our efforts. 2016, this year, it will be something good, something healthy, at least one minute a day. In one of the books I read last year, they gave this amazing power of one-minute in my hands. Yes, this one-minute everyday will gradually bring us countless minutes without sulking, getting demotivated or just plain lazy. We all do that at some point.

For this, I am going to do as much as with my power, and all that which is in my power. Starting with, 2016, I am just going to let go of the 'excess baggage'! All the excess baggage that has cluttered my being has to go away this year (with a hope to learn to minimize accumulation of this clutter the rest of my life). As human beings we are hoarders. We hoard material things, abstract ideas, dead relationships and tons of memories. We as human beings can achieve so much, only if we find our inner symmetry. The perfect symmetry of the body with the mind. Starting with my physical body, I am going to reach to my mastermind. I am glad 2015 hit me hard and posed before me a few very basic yet very big questions-

Do I know how to breathe?

Google Image 

We all breathe to live. Have you ever thought to live to breathe? A few of us who practice various breathing exercises or those who practice meditation through breathing right knows the bliss in प्राण वायु ('praan vayu', the oxygen that keeps us kicking and writing). 2016 I am going to let go of all the unforgiving air my lungs receive. Yes, breathing right is an art, and this year I want to learn it from scratch, unlearning everything unnecessary. I am going to reward my lungs by opening them fully, breathing the essence of human existence. Easy it may seem to read but very difficult to achieve it if you have been doing it wrong all your lives. The trick is to learn it mindfully, not to lose hope and practice everyday. 

Is my mind free from fear?

There is a certain fear in my mind that may not make sense to a lot of you. Imagine a dangerous situation and you have to run for life. The only problem is I can't run! 2016 I am going to let go of the fear of being unable to run. Yes, unbelievable it may seem but I am bad at running. I gasp for air after a few minutes. Yes, I need to work on my breathing but I also need stamina. 2016 I am going to let go of the excess flab I have accumulated without being in need of it. I am not a polar bear who eats and hibernates. I am just storing, not even hibernating. I dream of fitting in my old clothes. My old pictures haunt me. To achieve these wishes, I have decided to lock horns with my weakness and signed up for a 5K run. I am practicing every day with a professional plan. Oh boy! it's hard to run for 1 minute for me and 5K is a 30-minute estimate. The trick is not to give up, let the oxygen in and keep running.

Do I have endless disk space?

Equally important for physical well being is to declutter those memoirs, endless burdening emotions and people/acquaintances/so-called friends which do not provide any life-juice. Our heads often are filled with lots of old memories that wrap us tight and make it impossible to make new beginnings. We consicously and unconsciously make comparisons, become envious, nag and whine. This all takes away many useful moments from our life, which can be creative and productive as well as helpful for others. 2016 I am going to let go of unnecessary burden from my mind and heart. This is in the form of emotional baggage. By making space in my heart, I am going to value the valuables, save time for tasks that will let me grow as a person and I will show gratitude to at least one thing/person every day. Decluttering may be hard but so important.

Do I need everything that I own?

To further let go of the excess baggage, I am planning to target to lighten my house. Giving away the

From Google Images

gently used clothes to the needy and homeless, the books read over and over again would be donated to the local library, thus spreading the love of reading. Toys would go to a orphanage and many other accumulated material things would have to go away this year. 2016 I am going to let go of everything material I am not using, and can be reused by someone in need.

As I list all my let-go(s) of 2016, I am starting to visualize how much light my body and my mind would be feeling. I just can't wait to actually make it happen. I know I am dreaming big but 2015 taught me the importance of right things, and 2016 will see the body changing and the excess baggage exiting my being. Amen!

This was my world in a recap and a glimpse of my dreams and goals for 2016. Enjoy, if you want a recap of our world in the year just went by-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEzyex2HvqA

P.S.-“I’m sharing my #TalesOf2015 with BlogAdda.”

Losing you!

It was so easy…

to lose you amidst

everything else,

I wonder everything else’s

so mundane

still it was easy to lose you!

Life’s not same

after I lost you,

I often yearn,

look back, reminiscence

bathe in your fragrance

feel your joy

and I wonder

still I lost you!

Hope’s a charm

I wear around my soul,

I hold it tight

I hold it close

‘cos I can’t lose it

...I often jingle

the music of this charm

with each note appears

moments, memories

with each note comes a syllable

and in each syllable, I know

it will be your breath…

I will know

that’s the day

I will find you again

that’s the day

I will write again!

It's quite sometime, I penned a poem that sings my heart. It's difficult, very painful to see poetry or words slipping by my pen. This poem is dedicated to that loss, and talks about a hope that I will find my lost poetry someday, in the same fervor.

Image Courtesy: Google Images

ये ख़्वाहिश है मेरी...

भीड़ में रहकर भी सबसे जुदा 

सितारों के संग रहकर भी चाँद बनूं 

ये ख़्वाहिश है मेरी ...

 

राहों में रहकर भी राहगीर नहीं 

पानी में बनती बिगड़ती लहर न हूँ

ये ख़्वाहिश है मेरी ...

 

काटों पर चलकर भी दर्द न हो महसूस 

आँसूंऔ में रहकर भी इक मुस्कराहट बनूँ 

ये ख़्वाहिश है मेरी ...

 

समंदर के करीब रहकर कोलाहल नहीं 

वरन उसके भीतर का गाम्भीर्य बनूँ 

ये ख़्वाहिश है मेरी ...

 

शोर के बीच गरज नहीं 

वरन उसके बीच की नन्ही ख़ामोशी बनूँ 

ये ख़्वाहिश है मेरी ... 

 

भीड़ में रहकर भी सबसे जुदा 

सितारों के संग रहकर भी चाँद बनूँ

ये ख़्वाहिश है मेरी ...

 

This poem of mine is very close to my heart as it portrays my inner dreams and wishes. I wrote it long back, somewhere around year 1999, but still holds true. I am glad, it got a place in one of my favorite publications "हिंदी चेतना", a quarterly publication from Canada. Click here to read it, along with my other poems-

http://issuu.com/hindichetna/docs/hindi_chetna_january_march_2014

Image courtesy: Google

(These colorful butterflies signifies freedom, dreams and happiness to me. )

"being alive"

Burdened with the 

sins of the past,

the endless times

I looked down upon myself,

the countless doors

which I shut,

the numerous occasions

I pitied the spirits...

...all come alive

screaming at me!

The dark sins,

the failing times,

the shut doors,

the bereft occasions

today become my kin...

...Holding my soul

they lead me to the aura

the future beholds,

they soothe the pain

of nihilism,

they show the golden

Sun of shimmering hope.

Yes, 

they become the skin

of my heart

burning a fire within

fueling the inner churning 

out of which will rise

the celebration

the glory

the essence of "being alive".

'कान्हा'

साँझ की बेला से 

गोधूली के संगीत तक,

धरती के खिंचाव से 

आकाश की विशालता तक,

दूब की नरमाहट से 

पतझड़ की सर-सराहट तक,

जीवन की भटकन से 

मोक्ष की आस तक,

बस तुम ही हो मेरे पास 

मेरे 'कान्हा'

जो थामा है हाथ मेरा

जो संबल दिया कदमों को 

जो शक्ति भरी आत्मा में 

बस,

बने रहना मेरे 'सारथी'

उस एकल 'होने' के क्षण से 

उस एकल अंतिम 'विदा' तक!

Today, my morning started with the song 'Hamko man ki shakti dena, mann vijay kare'. It filled me with bhakti once again for my dearest God, my belief- Lord Krishna. He for me (like lot of others) is the epitome of love, on which is based this world. Be it love felt for our parents, our partner, our friends, our kids, or our goals...I see him with me in every of my action. This poem is dedicated to him, asking him to bestow upon me his 'companionship' from the moment I arrived in his creation, till my last breath. 

Myself

Hi,

I was thinking to create a blog from a long long time, but just kept thinking until today. Today i needed to talk, to communicate to somebody and then my blog came into being. Hopefully, it will help me discover myself, and share my burden when I am lost/lonely, and also share my happiness.