Sep 17, 2009

Identity...

We only live once and therefore ought to live it fully.

My mind is running after so many things (well, it is a different thing whether I am running or not)-cooking, presenting, poetry, blogging, dancing, being social & friendly, being prompt and punctual, being a good mother, being a good self, learning language, being a good housekeeper, being an early riser....

I don't know how many of the above things I will accomplish but at least I think I am on the right track of not losing hope (after being at home for almost a year now & getting frustated often)and keeping the struggle going to achieve something substantial in my life. And be 'something'

My fingers are crossed tightly!

White, Green, Black!

It has been raining for last 2 days and full night too. I have been witnsessing such relentless rainfall after quite some years. In Holland it didn't rain such heavily.

I was waiting for the Sun to come and spread it's golden rays and lit up the mountains overlooking our house. It looks enchanting and serene at the same time. Today morning when I woke up I went to the balcony to see what's the weather. I can see the droplets of rainfall on the iron-gate for our house, the water can be felt on the grass that sort of blackened due to excess water, the rainfall also had it's influence on the leaves and they still contained the remains....but the most astonishing and beautiful was the mountains. They looked so green, fresh green. And I saw something that I saw never before. The light Sun lit up the mountains, and the clouds were so close to them that the Sun casted their shadows on the mountains. It was so beautiful, I never saw the shadows of clouds on mountains. Ah...white clouds, green mountains and the black shadows...it is one of the amazing wonders of nature that I have ever seen.

Aug 14, 2009

Zindagi...

Duniya jise kehta hai jaadoo ka khilona hai
Mil jaye to mitti hai kho jaye to sona hai....

May 12, 2009

Absolute joy!


Ya, ya, I am again writing about my angel, my daughter. As I already wrote in one of my posts, it is amazing to see a child grow. To be precise, to see a baby grow :-)

My angel is a storehouse of energy. She is always so so active, can't believe it! She is never interested in getting her tummy full and her little head is always thinking of some mischief or is getting curious about something.

When I see her taking little steps, I remember how she used to kick :-)....we were so curious to go to the ultrasounds. We were curious to see her growing and figuring out her nose, her elbows, her hands, her feet...Oh my God, we were so curious.

Back home in India, everybody says that may be when I was expecting I was also very active and not taking enough rest, and that's why my angel is also ever playful n energetic...funny!!! Sometimes I think does these things matter...

Anyways, it is really bliss to have a child and see it grow, learning one small thing everyday, making you love it more n more each second.


It's an absolute joy to have you, my angel. God bless you always :-)

Apr 26, 2009

Visiting South of France

Amazingly rich and beautiful, are the words I would use to describe South of France, where I am currently for sort of holidays(well, holidays for me and Avni while work for Shishir).

Staying in an apartment in Antibes, overlooking the harbour and snowy mountains in the background is like a dream coming true. I often wonder, did I dream anything like this at all....well, certainly NO. It's all God's grace that I am able to visit all these beautiful places.

In a span of 10 days, I visited Antibes, Juan le Pins (said as Jhua le Pa in French), Mousins (said as Mousha in French), Cannes, Monaco and Saint Tropez. This part of France along the Mediterranean sea is known as French Riviera (in English) or Cote d' Azur (in French).

....to be continues with photos soon.

Mar 5, 2009

ज़रा पाने की चाहत में

ज़रा पाने की चाहत में, बहुत कुछ छूट जाता है,
न जाने सब्र का धागा, कहाँ पर टूट जाता है।

किसे हमराह कहते हो, यहाँ तो अपना साया भी,
कहीं पर साथ चलता है, कहीं पर छूट जाता है।

ग़नीमत है नगर वालों, लुटेरों से लुटे हो तुम,
हमें तो गाँव में अक्सर, दरोगा लूट जाता है।

अजब शै हैं ये रिश्ते भी, बहुत मज़बूत लगते हैं,
ज़रा-सी भूल से लेकिन, भरोसा टूट जाता है।

बमुश्किल हम मुहब्बत के दफ़ीने खोज पाते हैं,
मगर हर बार ये दौलत, सिकंदर लूट जाता है।

-Alok Srivastava
(collected from anubhuti-hindi.org)

Real Happiness

Happiness is that which is ever lasting, which depends on no external factor, which is one's own possession, which is unvarying and which constitutes one's very self. That alone is real happiness.

-Hanumanprasad Poddar in 'Beyond the Veil'

Mar 3, 2009

जो बीत गई सो बात गई

जीवन में एक सितारा था
माना वह बेहद प्यारा था
वह डूब गया तो डूब गया
अंबर के आंगन को देखो
कितने इसके तारे टूटे
कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे
जो छूट गए फ़िर कहाँ मिले
पर बोलो टूटे तारों पर
कब अंबर शोक मनाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

जीवन में वह था एक कुसुम
थे उस पर नित्य निछावर तुम
वह सूख गया तो सूख गया
मधुबन की छाती को देखो
सूखी कितनी इसकी कलियाँ
मुरझाईं कितनी वल्लरियाँ
जो मुरझाईं फ़िर कहाँ खिलीं
पर बोलो सूखे फूलों पर
कब मधुबन शोर मचाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

जीवन में मधु का प्याला था
तुमने तन मन दे डाला था
वह टूट गया तो टूट गया
मदिरालय का आंगन देखो
कितने प्याले हिल जाते हैं
गिर मिट्टी में मिल जाते हैं
जो गिरते हैं कब उठते हैं
पर बोलो टूटे प्यालों पर
कब मदिरालय पछताता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

मृदु मिट्टी के बने हुए हैं
मधु घट फूटा ही करते हैं
लघु जीवन ले कर आए हैं
प्याले टूटा ही करते हैं
फ़िर भी मदिरालय के अन्दर
मधु के घट हैं,मधु प्याले हैं
जो मादकता के मारे हैं
वे मधु लूटा ही करते हैं
वह कच्चा पीने वाला है
जिसकी ममता घट प्यालों पर
जो सच्चे मधु से जला हुआ
कब रोता है चिल्लाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

— हरिवंशराय बच्चन

Feb 26, 2009

I love you betu....

This is about and for my lil girl who just turned one. She is an angel for me. She is my cutie pie. She is adorable and each of her actions is just lovable.

She has started eating things with her hand (ofcourse she spills more than she is able to eat), and I can spend hours watching how her lil teeth cut the bytes. She also wants to put some bytes in my mouth and oh, my God that is so so cute. I just love her.

Today I took her to show ducks and feed them some bread. I parked her pram a little far from the bridge under which there are many ducks and even sea gulls like birds. I took a bread out of the bag of the pram and my lil one saw it. Then we went on the bridge and threw some bread in the water, quickly many ducks came swimming fast, even flying snatching the bread from one another. When the bread finished, my lil one pointed to the pram, like she was saying, "hey mamma, take one more bread out of that"! and I was so much in wonder that she remembered that I took the bread out of the bag.....I was all in smiles and love for her.

The art of raising a child

Recently I have been realizing that raising a child is an 'art'. I hope I am able to get my thoughts organized in this blog because there is so much to write (and simultaneously understand and think). This post has all that I am feeling nowadays. It is what I have been listening from various sources, it is what I have been reading, it is what I am thinking about and trying to figure out.

Birth of a child brings so much happiness, and more than that it bring responsibility. But initially, happiness owerpowers the responsibility factor. It is gradually realized that the baby is not a toy/or only a source of joy, you as parents are so much the determining force and factor in its life that you are 'RESPONSIBLE'. This does not mean that you become responsible. Atleast to me the meaning of real responsiblity is sinking in now, now my baby, my angel is one and I am constantly, each day realizing that yes, I am supposed to bring discipline in myself, in my life so that I become responsible and competent enough to make my child an amazing human being and a successful, happy person.

Sometimes I wonder that there is a very fine line between discipline and loving your baby. Most of the first-time parents love their child so much that they tend to overlook the discipline factor. No doubt, the child needs lots and lots of love and warmth. But the discipline should always be present. It does not mean enforcing it through scoldings or even beating your baby, it can come through just one look and the baby should know 'NO'.

* I will keep writing to this post as I have to organize my thoughts and everyday is a new experience, hence can not really finish this one.

Feb 23, 2009

New Friends...

Friends are the people we all need, wherever we are. They are the people we can be ourselves with. As someone said, "I can let my hair down with my friend". How true and comforting!

Getting married, coming to a foreign land, getting engrossed in a tough international master study has made me a different person. When I was in India, studying, living with parents (free from all responsibilities), having loads of friends, having a best friend was all a bliss. As I am growing older (in spite of the fact that I am just entering thr thirty line), I am getting closed. I am unable to get a 'click' with the people I meet, and hence unable to have a 'friend' in real meaning and not just to call a person a friend. I often question myself, why this is happening? Am I getting more choosy, is it because I have limited choice to select somebody and be friend with or something else which I am unable to figure out?

It is the irony of life when you need something the most it is perhaps at the farthest distance from you. Is it really true or I am just giving up....