Jun 2, 2010

Day 38: Grass is always greener on the other side!

It is about more than a year and close to some two years, I am at home. I mean to say I am not working, well, I mean to say I am not doing any job. I quit my job at the end of 2008 to be with my daughter who was then some 10 months old. At the time when people were scared to deaths about losing their jobs, I quit my job and sat at home, well, all without a future plan. I never gave it a second thought as my motherly feelings always took the first place. Well, no regrets.

I was happy and content for some months, taking full care of my daughter and seeing her grow little day by day. It is a contentment to see them learn something each day or do something new every day. But gradually, I realized it is being difficult for me to be at home, all alone. In India, I would be happy because I am with the family and friends to talk to, to share myself with. But here, no one actually. Shishir constantly asked me look at things that make me happy and content at the end of the day. He said, yes that is what can be done here. He always want me to be happy. For him, me doing a job may not be a source of happiness. He just wants me to be happy, content and creative. Why do I always feel doing and getting a job is the goal for me? Why can't I gain the sense of achievement from some other source?

After a job, there would be new things-busy schedules, less time for Avni, hundreds of chores to be done in less time and with more planning, fatigue etc. Why the life seems better after crossing the boundary of having a job in the kitty? Well, for now, I say the grass always looks greener on the other side. (But, at the same time, I am hopeful to be organized and active in the times when I have my 'other side').

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