Jun 11, 2010

Day 47: Introspect....I will try!

The beauty of a person lies in his deeds and thoughts. Actually, the thoughts make his actions, and his actions make his personality. I am by nature a little short tempered and this is one thing I want to erase from my aura. Life is beautiful without anger and irritations. Today, I am remembering the moral science books I learnt in school. They emphasized so much on truths of life. But that time, we kids had no time and no interest in reading those books so morally. Even sometimes I feel, I should have taken the PT exercises in school seriously. Well, time is gone and like an arrow that leaves the bow time can never come back.
Coming back to the anger residing in me, I am thinking to revise my lessons of 'self-introspection'. Each night before going to bed, I would like to replay the actions and circumstances of the entire day, and evaluate myself. I am sure, this is going to help me be a better person in my own eyes. The foremost contribution it will make to me is that it will be provide me inner peace and strenght. The calmness that goodness brings is so blissful that I would like to have more and more of it. I know this by my little experience. When I am hurt by someone's behaviour, words or actions, immediately my mind or my heart wants to take a revenge and there is a feeling 'dikha dunga ("I will show''). I know I can not do anything like hurting somebody knowingly in a preplanned manner, still I want to take revenge. Gradually, the seething hurt and anger makes me sad and, more and more angry. This takes so much of energy which I can use for better things in life. If I am my true self, I need to make no extra effort to think wrong or try to harm somebody. This is me, I don't want to hurt somebody intentionally from the core of my heart. This makes me so calm. So, why not I let go many things which I still don't let go?
Therefore, each night I would take God's name and try to introspect and see what bad I have done that day. I will try my best not to repeat the mistake and also foresee the situations where I can lose my temper.

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