May 21, 2010

Day 26: I feel blessed when I hold you....

"उभर रहा जो सूरज तो धूप निकलेगी,
उजालों में रहो मत धुंध का हिसाब रखो"

I happened to visit some blog today and found these lines in a poem. Just loved it. This is like the Sun radiating positive energy to me. I really felt the rays entering my mind, my skin, my eyes and my feelings. Wow...just loved them.

Today I wanted to write about one of my favourite Indian poets, Kamla Das and how I happened to write about her. We had her poem 'middle age' in sixth or seventh standard in school and from there I have loved her. Though now, I can better understand and admire her words and feelings. When I started searching for her work last year (through and on internet), I found she is no more, I felt bad and sad. I think there are a few poets in India who write so well (well, I don't know many but have read a lot of poems by different Indian poets but for me Kamla Das in one of the gems Indian literature world had).

Well, I don't have this poem in the post, I searched it on internet but could not find it. I will return to this post and include the poem when I would have found it. The poem is about middle age mother who is still in love with her adolescent son just like he is her baby but the son is growing and too busy in his world to notice her mother's affection. The mother is more like a person who is ready with the foods and clothes. The poem is so beautifully written that the feelings come before your eyes like a reality depicted in front of your eyes.

I happened to think of this poem a few days back when I was holding my daughter who is just a little more than 2 years now. I felt so blessed while holding her. Yes, there are a few moments in the day, when I hold her I feel extra special and extra loved. May be it is mutual affection and love that we share at that particular moment. I feel so proud to be a mother at such moments and feel that my angel is responding from her heart. But at the same time, a thought makes me sad. It will be a few months/years and then I would not be able to hold her. She will grow into a young girl, say 5 years or 6 years who would not need to come in her mother's lap every once in a while. This is natural, but then I am very much going to miss my extra special feelings which I feel each day. Kids grow, we grow and life grows. Things change for everybody and we all move on with to a new plateau with our goals, wishes, affections and relationships. But never moves on some memories that are stored and locked in our hearts. And the emotion that I feel while holding Avni will always be one of them in my life.

Lots of love to you, my angel. God bless you with all the fine things of life.

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